Thinking through things

I've been trying to think my way through some emotional stuff this week -- my wife and I got some bad news that's pretty heavy.  (If my loyal reader(s) need more details, I'd be happy to provide them in an email.)  I've been trying to go to God with the problems and work through them, and my post yesterday was one way in which I've been trying to analyze and work through the problems.  My post was probably a tad too academic, though, to really offer much uplift in the way of emotions.  I tend to approach faith intellectually first and emotionally second, but I think it's both, and this week, the emotions are taking center stage.  My wife especially is aching with a heart-ache because of this news, but my heart aches too, especially for her but also a little bit for myself.  I don't want to fall into self-pity, but I do want to be more open about how I'm feeling.  This doesn't mean that I'm not reassured by the knowledge that God is good or that he is light that overcomes darkness, because I still believe those things to be true.  It's hard to find "delight" in those things right now, but I know there is joy in them, because joy does not depend upon circumstances.  I can "delight" in those truths later.  Right now, I need to remind myself of the joy of God's salvation and his promises to his people.  Right now, God's word truly is a solace, not a triumphant shout.  The intellectual part of me wants to find a scripture to fit my circumstances, but maybe the only way to think through these things is to allow myself to feel them, and then think about the theology of it later.