Scene I: A Television Studio. Enter stage left: The President, Republicans, Democrats.
Pres: We're here to talk about health ca --
Rep: Socialist!
Dem: Now, labels only hurt this discussion. We've got to have a civil debate about
Rep: Communist China! Canada! Death panels!
Pres: Well, now that we've got that over with, I'd like to Preside in a very Presidential way over a detailed discussion of the facts on health ca--
Rep: You lie!
Dem: But he hasn't said anything yet.
Rep: Medicare cuts! Tax increase! Deficit!
Pres: I believe the American people deserve health ca--
Rep: Tea Party! Massachusetts! Run, Sarah, run!
Dem: Let the President speak, for Christ's sake.
Rep: Godless Communists! Baby murderers! Haters of liberty and freedom and the Founders and the Constitution! (singing) God Bless America, Land that I Love, Stand Beside Her...
Pres: Now, I was elected to bring Change to the Country. I think Americans deserve Reform that Works for the American People.
Rep: (still singing)
Dem: Oh, forget it.
Pres: I'm sure glad we got this on tape.
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